Finding the shades of grey

Thinking traps are a common feature when we experience impostor feelings. We complete an achievement-based task and then the inner critic pops up with unhelpful and inaccurate feedback.

The trouble is that in the moment, that message feels like the truth. An indisputable fact.

Usually though, it’s not as straight-forward as our minds would have us believe. Here’s a technique to help challenge the all-or-nothing thinking.


Take a thought such as, “Everyone must have thought I didn’t know what I was talking about”.

Now flip your statement to the other end of the scale… “Everyone thought I knew exactly what I was talking about.”

Ask, what else could be true or possible between these two points? What’s your observable evidence?

Don’t stop with just one or two points…what else is true? And what else?

• Some people on the call looked blank.

• Some people were nodding and making eye contact.

• I hesitated briefly when my manager asked that question.

• I responded to four questions well.

• I outlined the information on x,y,z.

Now look for the more realistic statement that falls somewhere between the two. Then (if required) set a small goal for improvement.

“Overall, I managed the call well enough. My evidence for this was…
Next time it will be even better if I…”

Log this somewhere you can revisit regularly - a journal or a document on your phone perhaps? Repeat regularly.

With practice, it is possible to find - more easily - evidence of the truth being somewhere between the two extremes.